Yes, Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus-- But Paypal Froze His Assets

I love Regretsy. There, I said it. In the crafting world it will make you friends and enemies faster than you can holster your glue gun. Sometimes mean, derisive, or just plain gross, Regretsy is the rebellious teenage brother to Etsy's nine-year-old-girl complex. While I adore the two websites equally, Etsy's official policy on most things comes in the form of 'la la la I can't hear you la la la', Regretsy drunkenly shouts admonishments from the rooftops. And for that I love them.

If you can't get behind Regretsy for Hellen Killer (April Winchell, the hilarious writer and voice of every cartoon character you've ever loved) and her army of fat, jealous losers (their term, not mine!) for their sense of humor, you have to appreciate them for their generosity. They cram charity into as many aspects of the site as possible. You can join April's Army to sell your crafts for various causes. They take requests from members in need for assistance, they encourage the dark recesses of the internet to sponsor kids on charity walks, they bring good people together and focus all that crazy into a vortex of snarky comments and genuine kindness.

This year the big-hearted jerks over there decided to throw a Secret Santa fundraiser, taking requests from members for kids in need and encouraging everyone who reads the blog to donate $2. Several thousands of donations later, the kids were getting the presents, the Regretsians were getting drunk, and everyone was happy as a lark. Then Paypal got wind of all the goodwill and joy that this fund was causing, and wanted to get in on the action. So they took the money. All of it. This is the point where everyone starts finding parallels between Paypal and the Grinch, so I'm not going to do that. You already did, I'm sure, because the situation would be downright funny if it weren't just so sad.

April tells the story far better than I do, so for further details I direct you to the Regretsy post detailing the whole affair.

As soon as this post went up, the internet exploded with outrage. Literally. I had to get a new monitor and everything. Paypal was berated all night long with outraged customers demanding this issue be resolved and shutting down accounts left and right. There are a lot of sneaky, sneaky things Paypal can get away with, but stealing toy money from poor children at Christmas? This one was just out of their league. Paypal wisely backed down with a quick and insincere apology, but a good point was brought up by one of the hundreds of commenters voicing their outrage: What about the little guy? This is a point that affects me directly. And scares me. What recourse would I have if MY account were frozen for attempting to better myself and others with charity? I don't have an army of cheeto-dust covered internet lawyers to screech my case all over Facebook*. Would Paypal be as receptive to my pleas, or would I end up on the wrong end of a short phone call with a terrible service rep?

So I add my tiny, fat, jealous, loser-ish voice to the chorus with this letter to Paypal:


To Whom It May Concern:


In light of the recent troubles with Regretsy and it's associated charity issues, I'm sure you have your hands full right now. Phones are probably ringing, henchmen getting canned, the CSRs are all being flogged in the dungeons for their mistakes. But you label this apology a 'Resolution', a term your company throws around quite loosely, and I would like to know exactly what is being resolved. Are you simply refunding the money, or will there be a significant policy change, as well as a dramatic overhaul of the Customer Service procedures? Will you be refunding the processing fees on top of your donation, or is that included?

I appreciate the prompt response to this issue, but it has the appearance of a hasty fix to save face, and lacks the feel of genuine remorse. I applaud you for admitting you were wrong, but do you still intend to make a profit off YOUR mistake? Any processing fees should be refunded (excluding those of the initial donation), because we know you're not the soulless monsters you appear to be, right?
In light of the current nation-wide corporate backlash, it's even more difficult to believe this is anything other than a clever play by marketing to show that, unlike other big companies, Paypal has a 'human' side. Will these policies be re-written, or made more available and clearly expressed to avoid future confusion? I often organize small charity drives among friends, nothing large and certainly nothing I can register as a non-profit, and had not used but considered Paypal donations as an option. Now I worry that this same situation could happen to me, and without a chorus of a thousand voices calling for resolution I can't imagine Paypal would be this responsive or remorseful. 

I fully understand that your privacy policy prevents you from going into details about this specific case. I respect that, and I'm glad you do, too. But let's talk about the public side of it, the major flaws in policy that have been brought to light. You're at a crossroads right now, and this seems like an easy decision: cut your losses, admit that your policies need to change, and make serious commitments to fairness and open business practices with more transparency of process. The other road, well, it's not as pretty. The climate of American business is shifting, and no matter which side you're on, it would be foolish to ignore the change completely. Raise this company to be an example of the new integrity-based American business model, or become a footnote on the Wikipedia page for this period in time.
Choose wisely, please. Because I like you. I really, really do. I like how convenient you are, I like that you're there when I need you. But I don't feel like I can trust you, and I think many of your customers feel the same way. Seize this moment as an opportunity to become the perfect example of the Good Big Business, before someone else does.

Thank you for your time,
Jennifer

This letter has also been posted to the Paypal Facebook page, the Paypal blog, and sent to Paypal in email form. Feel free to pass it along to Paypal yourself, or tell them how you feel about their current business model. This is an opportunity for a good change, and I hope they take it.

*To see some of the outrage for yourself, visit the Paypal Facebook page and click 'Everyone (Top Posts) to watch in real time. As of the time of this post, the rage fest was still in full effect. Remember, you DON'T have to 'like' the page to comment!